Last Fall Carnival- Full to the Brim with Memories

         Sometimes, it seems inevitable to think of all the "lasts" as a senior. Last first day of school, last birthday parties with your closest friends, last holidays, and now...

         Last Fall Carnival.

         Some Fall Carnivals were more memorable than others. I remember my first Fall Carnival: I was new to Oasis and had to explore the games by myself. Halfway through the night, a guy in my class (it was Mason, by the way) who was waiting in line behind me for the obstacle course started talking to me. After that, we hung out together for most of the night, and I left with lots of fun. Then there was a year I sang a High School Musical song for the talent show (didn't quite make it to the finals). Or the year my sister won a cake from the Fall Carnival, and our whole family ate cake for a week. Or the year one of the seniors grabbed one of my feet as I walked through the Spooky House and almost had a heart attack.

        As for this year, I had a lot of mixed feelings. In some ways, it was a blast. The first hour I sold tickets with Soli, but we yelled and smiled and finally convincingly persuaded tons of people to buy tickets to the Spooky House. We may have exaggerated the awesomeness of the Spooky House a litttttttlllle bit, but hey, it's for a good cause. :-) The second hour, I acted as a guide for the "less spooky time". Unfortunately, I and the other scarers were apparently a little too scary, and some of the kids went running back to the entrance. The REAL fun happened when we advertised the "All-Out Scary Time", which was the last hour. We made high schoolers, middle schoolers, elementary kids, and even teachers scream their pants off. Apparently, there was even a elementary girl who just started peeing in her pants after she got out of the Spooky House (poor girl). I must say, one of the highlights of the Spooky House was the skeleton dressed up as Snow White. Believe me, it was freaky. Overall, it was just a great senior bonding time. We laughed at each other's attempts to scare the people and worked perfectly together inside the Spooky House. 

        

          The one big bummer was that I didn't get to play any of the other games. Most years I don't play that many games anyway, but it seemed sad that this was my last opportunity, and I didn't do anything besides the Spooky House. Another bummer was that I felt down thinking about saying goodbye to my senior friends and teachers. It doesn't feel like a lot of time has passed, but in reality, the first quarter is almost done. A fourth of the year is gone. I only have three-fourths of a year to enjoy all the wonderful people I have to leave next year. Especially since Fall Carnival usually marks one of the first main Oasis events, it is a little bit of a shocker that this event has already passed and gone. It just made me contemplate how much I will truly miss everyone. I just hope I do not regret anything this senior year and live every moment full to the brim with memories.

  

Un-focused

     It's kind of hard for me to focus on anything right now. It's hard to believe that school's going to end in less than a week, but I'm ready for it. I just took a Math and English exam, and I'm ready to be done with my other ones as well. I feel like giving up honestly. I don't feel like doing anything. I feel like curling up on my bed and sleeping or watch as many movies as I want or take a book and go off into another world. I'm ready to get on a plane and start my summer.
     BUT. The fact of the matter is that summer is not quite here. I still have to finish my science final, my geography final, and my Spanish final. I feel worn out, though. My brain hurts from studying and taking tests and my heart feels like giving up. I really need this summer break, but it's a bit bittersweet. The end of the year is always a bit sad since we almost always have to say goodbye. Especially with all the uncertainty about Harim, I don't know if I want this year to end so quickly, but the end of the year is always fun. I guess I sort of am torn apart, but I need rest, and I need it really bad. I'm waiting for the end :)

Change

      A lot of things have made me ponder a lot or bother me no end. I wondered if my life would be better without people. A lot of things would be less complicating and I'd have more "peace" in my life. But then I think about how much love, how many memories, how much I would miss out in if these people were not in my life. These are all very selfish thoughts, but I also started thinking about how God created two humans, not one. Sometimes loving people is so hard, but I know that they are worth it, more than I can ever imagine.
     I've also been thinking about change. Things have changed, and I'm one of those people who has become almost numb to change, but once I begin to process everything I resent the change very much. The fact that most of my friends are changing sometimes scares me and I don't like it, not because it's a bad change but just because it's change. I've always prided myself in not changing, but I know that even I'm changing, and that is probably the scariest type of change for me. My views on things are changing, my thoughts are changing, and my attitude is changing (only my height hasn't changed). I don't know, this idea of change has become a burden in my life.
       Another change I am deathly afraid of leaving Oasis. To tell you the truth, coming to Turkey wasn't the high point of my life. I was excited about moving to Turkey (I hate change, but for some odd reason I loved moving to different countries. Don't ask me why.) but I was actually disappointed and depressed during my first year at Oasis because I felt so lonely and left out. I was a spoiled kid compared to most because no matter where I went God had proivded a group of great friends. I came to Turkey, and it was sort of a shock to me because suddenly I did not have a friend I could depend on. But the next year and the next year, I met more people and Oasis continued to grow on me. Some of the deepest relationships I have are Oasis people and I've grown so much because of this school. I know that I'm going to have to leave soon, but I'm afraid.
      I also will miss my church here in Turkey. Back in America, my parents never stayed at one church. We would visit this church, go to another church for a couple of weeks, move to another church, and constantly visit different churches. I never got to make very good relationships with anyone. We've now been at IPCA for 3 years and I'm going to miss going to church, knowing people, singing in the back, and feeling refreshed.
      BUT I know God's looking out for me. I just don't see it now, and I don't see why this move must cause so much pain, but I know that even though I have no idea when I'm leaving or where I'm going. God's there for me.

I'm dreaming of a [lazzzzzzy] Christmas....

     This past week, no this past weekend, has been a very crazy time of the year. We had tests after projects after tests and it was amazing how many things piled up. It was a super stressful week for me, but God provided and I'm glad things are semi-normal now. Although, as of now I'm pretty busy already, but I'm trying not to complain and instead thank God for what he's given me.
      There are so many things on my mind! I'm trying to put all my thoughts down in a orderly and entertaining fashion, but I think I'm failing. Well, first of all, we had a Christmas party on Friday, and we went caroling. I was so happy, but I felt even happier seeing everyone else having so much fun caroling. I could tell Yusuf and Cankut were having a blast, and the two couples were holding hands. Then I would hear silly laughing in the background and I'd start to giggle. My heart felt content for some odd reason. On Sunday during the Christmas program I felt randomly hyper, and I was literally jumping all over the place. I also felt wonderful laughing at Eustace and Reepicheep with Hannah. Lastly, looking at the Christmas Fair picture with Kalista, Harim, and me made me smile all over. It was weird how little things just made my day.
     Things have been great, but now I'm happy dreaming of a lazzzzzzzy (plus a white) Christmas!

Pumpkins of Fun

      If you go on my Facebook profile, you will see the rest of the pictures, but I decided that this day was a noteworthy day. It started off with Harim, Kalista, and I waiting for people to come to the Pumpkin party and teasing Harim for a very long time. Soon, a flood of people came and we started pumpkin carving. We all smelled like pumpkins, partially because Josh B was throwing pumpkin guts at people. I know pumpkin carving sounds like an easy job, but some of the carving were not. We were all in silent concentration.

   After a while, everyone needed a break. Mr Huddleston and some guys started throwing pumpkin pieces from the balcony to see who could get the pumpkin leftovers right inside the garbage can. I believe Mr. Huddleston was the most successful in this venture.
 
     My group decided that we needed a break too. We took turns carving out the rest of Mr. Spider. E
veryone was a little tense because we had chosen
such a hard carving design, and because I amputated Mr. Spider's leg. The guys took a break first and idly watched us. Sofie and I took a break later.
  

I think everyone had a good time, including Hilton :-) I guess the stress of making a good-looking carving gets all the little kids iching for some pumpkin throwing.

These were the results of our hard work! (which mainly included Sofie, Luke, and myself, even though Josh helped a little).



Mr. Noob, a.k.a the Vampire Mr. Huddleston, and Mr. Spider-the-one-legged. Don't they purty?

Last of all, after all the pumpkin carving and eating yummy food, thanks to Ms. Bruton, we had a dance party in honor of Mason's birthday. We did all the traditional songs we always do, and had a fun time. There was this one incident where Mason and Sam decided to steal Harim and Kalista from Luke and Josh and dance with them. We all laughed about it afterwards. Luke also managed to create a balloon-headed Mr. Bob at the dance and make things more interesting :)

A hectic day full of too many things, but a wonderful day full of October fun :-)

Kicking-off the Old, Bringing in the New

     Sorry about the lack of pictures. I currently do not own a camera since I lost it, so I have to rely on my dad's camera. The problem is that ever since my "camera got lost" incident, he has become a bit reluctant about letting me borrow his camera. Honestly, I can't blame him. The result is that my blog can get a bit dull because of the lack of pictures, but bear with me :-)
     Our WATT=Z Youth Group kick-off party was today. It was tons of fun, as usual. I was super excited because we played volleyball at a Youth Group party rather than basketball. They were all pretty short games, but it was exciting to be able to play volleyball after a whole year. Afterwards, Hannah and I went to the small PE room and communicated in sign language. I couldn't help looking over at Josh Bruton and Mr. Meyer while we did sign language. They were attempting to understand what we were saying but were totally lost.
     Out of all the activities, I think my favorite was worship. Worship always makes me think about my relationship with God and contemplate how indescribable Jesus is. What's even better is that with all of these thoughts, music is filling the whole room with God's praises. I just think it's... amazing.
     With Youth Group starting up again, I think my month just gets better :-)

High School Phobia

     My first day of school started last Wednesday with surprises, familiar faces, and whatnot. We always have our traditions such as walking around the school and giving five lira to a student. After all that, we went to our classes to be re-introduced to rules and policies. This year there was a major change for ninth graders; we were given electives to choose from. Believe me, choosing was much more harder than I expected it to be. But it was nice to be able to learn new subjects, and I'm enjoying it.
     Another change was that the middle schoolers were seperated from the high schoolers during lunch. Our lunch room seemed so quiet and lonely. I also had friends in middle school, so it was really sad that we wouldn't be able to see them at all. The loudest people in the canteen were, of course, my classmates, but even they seemed to get a feel of the atmosphere around them.
      Not only did we get changes as a secondary group, but our class has changed as well. A couple of people left last year, and some of the people in our class take different classes so we don't see them that often. Plus, with electives, our class is divided even more. Both of the two new girls that were supposed to be in our class have decided not to come. There's a sense of disunity in our class.
      I'm not all that great with accepting change; nobody really is. I want to make this year count, though, because I don't know what will happen to me in the future. Hahaha I just need to stop complaining and look on the bright side :-)

You'll see your mommy soon....

     Today was Day 1 of VBS. I mainly helped out with motions and the dances, but in my free time I helped out with the pre-schoolers. There were two little Korean girls I had to help out in general. One of the girls was crying for her mommy (not surprising, of course) but no one knew what she was saying because she didn't know Englsih. The second girl only knew the words "pee pee" and "toilet", so she needed help too. I had fun with all the pre-schoolers, and some of them wouln't let go of my hand by the end of the day :-)
     I also had fun laughing at myself at the end of the day. When I helped out with the motions, I would make a couple of mistakes here and there. Every so often, I would catch someone mimicking my moves, seeing everyone else doing something else, and have this confused look. I felt quite sorry for them, but it was a fun time.
     "God's Word is true!" "Let's go!" :-)

Reconnecting Time with Turkey

     When I was in America, it was nice being able to see friends and family and pig out everyday, but I missed seeing my old friends and having some privacy again. I really wanted to go back to Turkey. Now that I'm here, things definitely fall back into their old patterns, and I must admit sometimes it gets boring, but I'm content. Believe me, relaxing and doing whatever can actually be wonderful. I also think I'm feeling a very introversive :-)
     So far I've been welcomed with people, people, more people, and pigeon poop. Yes, unfortunately pigeon poop and being on "pigeon duty" is a big part of my life. I laugh about it after wards, but I'm not a happy person when a stray pigeon comes. The people that welcomed me were nicer, and I've had a lot of fun hanging out with my classmates and other random people. I do think that seeing so many people made me an introvert, but it was still exciting.
     During my free time (which is... all the time) I read, watch movies, study (sadly), and bug my sisters. It's sort of sad that summer is ending in only three weeks, but I guess I'm anticipating it at the same time :-)
     Until my next adventures :-) 

A Little Bit of Monkey, Some Tigers, and a Disappointing Hippo

...and more as well. Our family went to DC to see the Smithonan Zoo with our aunt's family. My little cousins had a great time oohing and aahing at crazy animals, although little Ollie was disappointed there were no hippos.

I love this guy!

My aunt and my mom marveling at laughing monkeys

My adorable cousins, my sisters, and I

Another strange reptile

Grown-ups (sigh)

     I must say, grown-ups can be very strange people. It kind of scares me that I may be one of them some day, but I suppose that's life. Here are some weird/funny/awkward moments.

1. A man that I knew since I was four-years-old asked me, "Do you have a boyfriend?"
2. MULTIPLE grown-ups asked me "Do you have a lot of friends?" (How am I supposed to respond to that? If I say "yes" I sound stuck-up and if I say "no" then I sound like a child with a sad life :))
3. One grown-up asked me, "What do you want to be?" I told him I don't know, but I like music and art. He then said, "Well, music and art won't get you a lot of money." He bragged about his own children and then told me I should not pursue this career unless I was talented.
4. My aunt and uncle asked me who I thought was the cutest guy in our class, and then my uncle says I'm being shy when I say that in my opinion, I couldn't care less.
5. Another grown-up told me I looked like a teenager who has reached puberty (???).

     I believe all of these moments happened recently. I must admit, I was slightly mortified when these things happened, but now I look back and I laugh my head off :) Ha ha, good times. I hope I don't embarrass teenagers with awkward questions when I grow up :)

A Lazy Summer Day

     Life's good, with a few complications, but life is good. My summer is pretty laid back, and I love having next to nothing to do. It's also nice to be in America and have a change of scenery. It's hard to believe that eighth grade has finished and that I'm going to start high school in a couple of months. Right now all I can think about is summer.
     When I think about my summer so far, the first thing I think about is food. I've eaten all kinds of yummy Korean food, ate Oreos, bacon, Egg McMuffins, Crispy Cremes, Vietnamese noodles, and more. I think I've gained a thousand pounds this summer! I'm somewhere in between food heavan and reality :)
     After food, I think about the people. I know, it's kind of sad that I think about people after food, but I guess America does that to you. Still, the people here are a big part of my summer. I'm excited about meeting my old friends like Andrew and Juhee, and I'm also excited about meeting people I see regularly like Ms. Bagnell :P I guess I can say that I am also afraid of the change that I will see in people. There's this one girl I knew since I was a little girl, and now I can barely recognize her both inside and out. I did get to meet some of my old acquaintances already; my aunt's family came to visit, and they brought their newest member!
     I have random memories in this past week. I remember riding on Luftansa on our way here to Virginia, and I was so glad to have no one sit next to me. Then, in the middle of the ride, a very hairy man just randomly sits next to me. I was honestly very scared, but he didn't do anything. It was just weird because he was sitting next to his wife. The most annoying part was that when I put my arm on the armrest I could feel the man's arm hair so my arms were glued to my sides the whole ride :P
     My sisters are a big part of a lot of my memories (since they are with me 24/7). I remember my mom asking me "Does that boy like you?" and I had to reassure my mom that he was a year younger than me AND the fact that I had just met him. Then I realized that my sister Christy had told my mom :P

So yeah.. good times, annoying times, and blessings. Have a good summer :)
  

Lists, Lists, and More Lists

Things I need to buy in America:

1. Candy for Soli and Yeji (they have been bugging me this whole month)
2. A new pencil case (thanks a lot Dennis)
3. Stronger glasses (I can barely read the board)
4. Books :)    

The End of the Year

     The end of the year is always a mixed time. It's a time of sadness, a time of good byes, and a time of weariness. It's also a time of fun, a time of excitement, and a time of relaxation.
     I'm going to have a hard time saying good bye to everyone I know. International schools are always like that; you have to say good bye every year. I'm going to miss having David, Ozde, and Ediz in our class. Helin and Gyeong Bae may not come back either. Good byes are hard no matter how many times they happen.
     However, it's also the most exciting part of the year. Everyone's excited about summer and their summer plans. We also have our fun end-of-the-year parties and have competitive waterfights (if Mr. Land permits it). I think my favorite part about the end of the year, though, is yearbook signing. It's so fun writing and reading comments.
     It's amazing to see my life changing. Time passes so fast.

Kalista

     I wanted to write about Kalista in this post because 1) she is my only faithful blog reader and 2) we have a long history.
     It all starts off with Miss Sierra Landureth. Miss Landureth rode my bus three years ago, and I constantly hear the name "Kalista". I sit there thinking "Who in the world is Kalista???" Well, sometime during the middle of the year I meet this mysterious Kalista at Space Camp. We become fast friends and soon Sierra, Helin, Kalista, and I are spilling secrets and laughing over hilarious moments.
     I didn't see much of Kalista anymore, but then I enter secondary. I go to lunch and behold! I see a face that I actually know in secondary. We revive our short but colorful past, and Kalista and I become even closer buddies in the space of one year. I also become friends with Kalista's buddies, and the seventh and eighth grade girls become very close.
     It's weird because Kalista and I have got to know each other in such a short amount of time, but we're still really close. It's also amazing to see how many inside jokes we have or just how many memories we have together.
     Examples:
1) Fake mustaches and unibrows
2) Chatting on Facebook with 3 different people and confusing them
3) Kalista and I staying up the whole night at Nashiha's house and Dianne saying "I'm going to sleep; your conversation's getting boring"
4) "My boyfriend's name starts with an N and ends with Obody"
5) Green side and Red Side
6) Talking to two random Turkish girls for 30 minutes straight
7) Kalista and Sofie pulling me on either side
8) Talking about Olive Grove for two hours straight
               .............and more..................
     Yes, Kalista and I have come a long way. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about Kalista :)

Summer Concert and Bible Study Sleepover

     I have to say that June 4 was one busy day for me. It started off as a normal day in school, but after school was over things became quite crazy.
     I came home and frantically started practicing my violin. Two hours later I go to school and practice for band and set up my instruments. When the concert started, I was praying for all my friends and praying for myself as well. We were all pretty nervous.
     Now, Mason, being the dancer he is, heard a nice swing dance song and asked someone to dance with him. Everyone refused, so finally he just grabs Nashiha and starts dancing. Soon, all the other guys are grabbing girls and dance to the band songs in front of everyone. It was hilarious!
     What I also thought was funny was that everyone was cheering for me after my solo. I was so nervous I was basically having a nervous breakdown. I also went up to everyone I knew and asked them to pray for me. I have such good friends; they cheered so loudly I had to tell them to shut up :)
     Right after the concert, our girls' Bible study had an awesome sleepover. We talked, ate a ton of food, and watched beach soccer. We also watched A Happy Millioinaire, which is a great movie. Ms. LaMertha managed to stay up and watch the whole movie with us even though she was sick. After the movie, Ms. Bagnell, Dianne, Sofie, and I talked until four o'clock in the morning. It was funny because our topic started off with guys to and ended with prayer. No, I will not explain how that happened, but it was a great conversation. Everything was wonderful. Now I just have to wait for what will happen on Monday during lunch.... (that is another story).

Excitement and Fears

I'm excited about:
1. Our waterfight (that Mr. Land WILL let us have... hopefully)
2. Finishing this school year
3. The Luau
4. Graduation (and crying my head off)
5. Meeting my old friends again next year (like Harim and Sevda)
6. Going to America
7. The bible study sleepover tomorrow

I'm scared about:
1. My violin solo
2. Meeting my old friends in America
3. My violin solo
4. Finishing this school year
5. How much time I have left before I leave Oasis
6. My violin solo
7. And have I mentioned my violin solo? :)

Burdens of the World

      So, one day in seventh grade, our class decided to have a party at Luke's house. We had a blast and everything, and we watched this movie by the name of "Get Smart" (I'm sure you guys all know the movie). There's this one part where the main character does something really stupid and gets a needle poked into random body parts. I was a sissy and covered my eyes in this part. Everyone teased me :) but that's who I am.
      When I was younger, I wanted to be a doctor, but as I grew older I realized I really couldn't. When I see someone in pain or hear out someone else's pain, I feel like I can feel their pain myself. The problem is that "feeling the pain" also goes for emotional pain. I hear about my friend's hurt over a friendship or past experience, and I feel so burdened. I feel like I am in their place.
      Lately, this has been a major factor in dampening my spirits. I feel like I have to carry everyone's burden on my back, and there's no one else who can help me. I'm such a perfectionist that I want other people's lives to go splendidly as well. In the end, I realize how powerless I am. I have to put these burdens on God.

Last day of May

     Wow... May. May's been pretty crazy for me, but it's also been pretty awesome. Probably one of the hilghlights was the performances of the Wizard of Oz. You should have seen the cast and crew before the play performances; we were half-zombie, one-fourth "in character", and one-fourth human. Let me explain.
     The week before the play, we had started to do play practices everyday. We also started putting on make-up and having dress rehearsals. As you can imagine, it took us forever, and half of us really dreaded the whole make-up procedure. By the end of all this intense practicing and make-up and costumes, we were basically half-zombie. Lor, Meghan, and I were worried to death because our make-up and hair was never done on time. On the night of the performance, we found out it didn't matter because we had nothing to do when we were waiting for our scene. Now I look back and I'm still amazed at how we were able to be hyper and normal after all of that.
     Then came the performance... (drum roll).... The whole cast was nervous to death. Could we do it? Just the day before, Kalista and I commented how it was our last practice, and we stopped a million times to fix different things. However, things went great! There were some mishaps, like Cankut dropping the tree, but I think it just gave us funny memories to think about, and it wasn't that big of a deal. After the performance, the whole cast was screaming and shouting. We couldn't believe we made it! It was a good night. The other play performances went well too.
      I also went on a seven churches tour this month. I was really reluctant to go because I didn't want to miss school and have a ton of make-up homework. I ended up going, and it was pretty interesting. The first day, I ended up babysitting a couple of kids because there was a meeting, but after that we were travelling all three days. A lot of the tour involved riding in a bus and sleeping in the bus for hours. Still, it was inspiring to see these huge ruins that were once a part of a great civilization in the bible times. Our team also slept in really nice hotels, so we got to eat a lot of good food.
     I think one of the most memorable moments of my trip was when we had to hike up a hill to see the church of Sardis. It was an extremely hot day, and we had to hike up for 30 minutes straight. I also had to look after a 3 year old guy and had to help him get up the hill as well. It took us forever; however, to give credit to the little guy, he walked the whole way without ever stopping or complaining and almost kept up to my pace. Still,  we were hot, tired, and there were thorns on the path, so we were not happy campers. It paid off later on because we also got to go to the top of this white mountain and wade in the water of a hot spring.
     These are only some of the many things that happened. It was a busy month, but hey I learned a lot and experienced a lot as well.

Spring Break in Adana

Sorry for the late pictures! I would try to upload them and it would fail everytime. Hope you enjoy them!

Our nice lunch on a boat

Christy: "Oh my gosh, like, I'm too cool"

Esther: "Grace, don't steal my straw!"

I take credit for this awesome picture!

Our "nice, peaceful" walk

She was a "moving statue". It was creepy.