Change

      A lot of things have made me ponder a lot or bother me no end. I wondered if my life would be better without people. A lot of things would be less complicating and I'd have more "peace" in my life. But then I think about how much love, how many memories, how much I would miss out in if these people were not in my life. These are all very selfish thoughts, but I also started thinking about how God created two humans, not one. Sometimes loving people is so hard, but I know that they are worth it, more than I can ever imagine.
     I've also been thinking about change. Things have changed, and I'm one of those people who has become almost numb to change, but once I begin to process everything I resent the change very much. The fact that most of my friends are changing sometimes scares me and I don't like it, not because it's a bad change but just because it's change. I've always prided myself in not changing, but I know that even I'm changing, and that is probably the scariest type of change for me. My views on things are changing, my thoughts are changing, and my attitude is changing (only my height hasn't changed). I don't know, this idea of change has become a burden in my life.
       Another change I am deathly afraid of leaving Oasis. To tell you the truth, coming to Turkey wasn't the high point of my life. I was excited about moving to Turkey (I hate change, but for some odd reason I loved moving to different countries. Don't ask me why.) but I was actually disappointed and depressed during my first year at Oasis because I felt so lonely and left out. I was a spoiled kid compared to most because no matter where I went God had proivded a group of great friends. I came to Turkey, and it was sort of a shock to me because suddenly I did not have a friend I could depend on. But the next year and the next year, I met more people and Oasis continued to grow on me. Some of the deepest relationships I have are Oasis people and I've grown so much because of this school. I know that I'm going to have to leave soon, but I'm afraid.
      I also will miss my church here in Turkey. Back in America, my parents never stayed at one church. We would visit this church, go to another church for a couple of weeks, move to another church, and constantly visit different churches. I never got to make very good relationships with anyone. We've now been at IPCA for 3 years and I'm going to miss going to church, knowing people, singing in the back, and feeling refreshed.
      BUT I know God's looking out for me. I just don't see it now, and I don't see why this move must cause so much pain, but I know that even though I have no idea when I'm leaving or where I'm going. God's there for me.

I'm dreaming of a [lazzzzzzy] Christmas....

     This past week, no this past weekend, has been a very crazy time of the year. We had tests after projects after tests and it was amazing how many things piled up. It was a super stressful week for me, but God provided and I'm glad things are semi-normal now. Although, as of now I'm pretty busy already, but I'm trying not to complain and instead thank God for what he's given me.
      There are so many things on my mind! I'm trying to put all my thoughts down in a orderly and entertaining fashion, but I think I'm failing. Well, first of all, we had a Christmas party on Friday, and we went caroling. I was so happy, but I felt even happier seeing everyone else having so much fun caroling. I could tell Yusuf and Cankut were having a blast, and the two couples were holding hands. Then I would hear silly laughing in the background and I'd start to giggle. My heart felt content for some odd reason. On Sunday during the Christmas program I felt randomly hyper, and I was literally jumping all over the place. I also felt wonderful laughing at Eustace and Reepicheep with Hannah. Lastly, looking at the Christmas Fair picture with Kalista, Harim, and me made me smile all over. It was weird how little things just made my day.
     Things have been great, but now I'm happy dreaming of a lazzzzzzzy (plus a white) Christmas!

Pumpkins of Fun

      If you go on my Facebook profile, you will see the rest of the pictures, but I decided that this day was a noteworthy day. It started off with Harim, Kalista, and I waiting for people to come to the Pumpkin party and teasing Harim for a very long time. Soon, a flood of people came and we started pumpkin carving. We all smelled like pumpkins, partially because Josh B was throwing pumpkin guts at people. I know pumpkin carving sounds like an easy job, but some of the carving were not. We were all in silent concentration.

   After a while, everyone needed a break. Mr Huddleston and some guys started throwing pumpkin pieces from the balcony to see who could get the pumpkin leftovers right inside the garbage can. I believe Mr. Huddleston was the most successful in this venture.
 
     My group decided that we needed a break too. We took turns carving out the rest of Mr. Spider. E
veryone was a little tense because we had chosen
such a hard carving design, and because I amputated Mr. Spider's leg. The guys took a break first and idly watched us. Sofie and I took a break later.
  

I think everyone had a good time, including Hilton :-) I guess the stress of making a good-looking carving gets all the little kids iching for some pumpkin throwing.

These were the results of our hard work! (which mainly included Sofie, Luke, and myself, even though Josh helped a little).



Mr. Noob, a.k.a the Vampire Mr. Huddleston, and Mr. Spider-the-one-legged. Don't they purty?

Last of all, after all the pumpkin carving and eating yummy food, thanks to Ms. Bruton, we had a dance party in honor of Mason's birthday. We did all the traditional songs we always do, and had a fun time. There was this one incident where Mason and Sam decided to steal Harim and Kalista from Luke and Josh and dance with them. We all laughed about it afterwards. Luke also managed to create a balloon-headed Mr. Bob at the dance and make things more interesting :)

A hectic day full of too many things, but a wonderful day full of October fun :-)

Kicking-off the Old, Bringing in the New

     Sorry about the lack of pictures. I currently do not own a camera since I lost it, so I have to rely on my dad's camera. The problem is that ever since my "camera got lost" incident, he has become a bit reluctant about letting me borrow his camera. Honestly, I can't blame him. The result is that my blog can get a bit dull because of the lack of pictures, but bear with me :-)
     Our WATT=Z Youth Group kick-off party was today. It was tons of fun, as usual. I was super excited because we played volleyball at a Youth Group party rather than basketball. They were all pretty short games, but it was exciting to be able to play volleyball after a whole year. Afterwards, Hannah and I went to the small PE room and communicated in sign language. I couldn't help looking over at Josh Bruton and Mr. Meyer while we did sign language. They were attempting to understand what we were saying but were totally lost.
     Out of all the activities, I think my favorite was worship. Worship always makes me think about my relationship with God and contemplate how indescribable Jesus is. What's even better is that with all of these thoughts, music is filling the whole room with God's praises. I just think it's... amazing.
     With Youth Group starting up again, I think my month just gets better :-)

High School Phobia

     My first day of school started last Wednesday with surprises, familiar faces, and whatnot. We always have our traditions such as walking around the school and giving five lira to a student. After all that, we went to our classes to be re-introduced to rules and policies. This year there was a major change for ninth graders; we were given electives to choose from. Believe me, choosing was much more harder than I expected it to be. But it was nice to be able to learn new subjects, and I'm enjoying it.
     Another change was that the middle schoolers were seperated from the high schoolers during lunch. Our lunch room seemed so quiet and lonely. I also had friends in middle school, so it was really sad that we wouldn't be able to see them at all. The loudest people in the canteen were, of course, my classmates, but even they seemed to get a feel of the atmosphere around them.
      Not only did we get changes as a secondary group, but our class has changed as well. A couple of people left last year, and some of the people in our class take different classes so we don't see them that often. Plus, with electives, our class is divided even more. Both of the two new girls that were supposed to be in our class have decided not to come. There's a sense of disunity in our class.
      I'm not all that great with accepting change; nobody really is. I want to make this year count, though, because I don't know what will happen to me in the future. Hahaha I just need to stop complaining and look on the bright side :-)

You'll see your mommy soon....

     Today was Day 1 of VBS. I mainly helped out with motions and the dances, but in my free time I helped out with the pre-schoolers. There were two little Korean girls I had to help out in general. One of the girls was crying for her mommy (not surprising, of course) but no one knew what she was saying because she didn't know Englsih. The second girl only knew the words "pee pee" and "toilet", so she needed help too. I had fun with all the pre-schoolers, and some of them wouln't let go of my hand by the end of the day :-)
     I also had fun laughing at myself at the end of the day. When I helped out with the motions, I would make a couple of mistakes here and there. Every so often, I would catch someone mimicking my moves, seeing everyone else doing something else, and have this confused look. I felt quite sorry for them, but it was a fun time.
     "God's Word is true!" "Let's go!" :-)

Reconnecting Time with Turkey

     When I was in America, it was nice being able to see friends and family and pig out everyday, but I missed seeing my old friends and having some privacy again. I really wanted to go back to Turkey. Now that I'm here, things definitely fall back into their old patterns, and I must admit sometimes it gets boring, but I'm content. Believe me, relaxing and doing whatever can actually be wonderful. I also think I'm feeling a very introversive :-)
     So far I've been welcomed with people, people, more people, and pigeon poop. Yes, unfortunately pigeon poop and being on "pigeon duty" is a big part of my life. I laugh about it after wards, but I'm not a happy person when a stray pigeon comes. The people that welcomed me were nicer, and I've had a lot of fun hanging out with my classmates and other random people. I do think that seeing so many people made me an introvert, but it was still exciting.
     During my free time (which is... all the time) I read, watch movies, study (sadly), and bug my sisters. It's sort of sad that summer is ending in only three weeks, but I guess I'm anticipating it at the same time :-)
     Until my next adventures :-)